Mercenaries of marketing savvy and mirth, we serve businesses large and small, ad agencies and production houses, radio stations and individual broadcasters alike. Our spectrum of service ensures satisfaction - from FREE DIY tips to Turnkey Service.
Want Funny? Need Funny? Remember Chickenman, the Tooth Fairy or the infamous Hiney Winery?
We're seeking partners to develop radio comedy elements to be syndicated for fun and profit.
Let's collaborate on parody songs & ads, recurring character phone-ins, serial comedy bits etc. that can be syndicated nationally. Sale Managers looking for sponsorable inventory; Talent or Producers looking for signature bits encouraged to call. We Got Funny!
How Funny? This Funny!
Sample scripts with production notes, air checks of on-air shenanigans, collateral materials for sales and promotion, merchandise ideas, blueprints for promotions and calibration instructions for Zenith Transoceanic shortwave receivers are available upon request.
When programming help is needed, we'll bring in Jon Holiday @ Radio Consulting Services.
Our sensei David Lee @ David Lee Imaging gets the call when we require his particular set of skills.
Since we all play nice together, WROG recommends either without reservation. Tell 'em WROG sent you.
...tells a story don't it?
- Rod Stewart
When things for me looked darkest, Radio Saved My Life! Click any image to learn tawdry details from yet another chapter in the ongoing saga of my life long love affair with radio.
Our Story Begins
Our story begins in a quiet Chicago suburb during the Golden Age of Top 40 Radio. WCFL and WLS are locked in heated battle to win young hearts and minds!
Rock, Blues, R & B, Soul - if a song charted, it played on Top 40 Stations! Ads for Mr. Norm's Grand-Spaulding Dodge and Jan Gabriel's US 30 Drag Strip (Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!). Comedy bits like Dick Orkin''s Chickenman and The Tooth Fairy filled the spaces in between.
Personalities were a prominent part of the success formula for a Top 40 Station. John "Records" Landecker, “Superjock" Larry Lujack, Fred Winston and Lyle Dean were my constant companions until suddenly..
The God-Forsaken Hinterlands
..circumstances caused the move from Chicago to a small town in Michigan, some 400 miles away. Away from all my friends, my school and my extended family. To a town with just one radio station, a station unlike any of my favorites back in Chicago. No this was Tradio and high school sports and polka music.
Thanks to the nightly shift of the Earth’s ionosphere those Chicago AM stations came in clearly after sundown! Every night, radio reconnected me with the people and places I missed so much and held so dear. Without accordion accompaniment!
For me this went beyond simply informing or entertaining right on to transforming. Radio Saved My Life!
Studying the history of radio I learned about Tesla and Marconi and DeForrest. My 6th grade science project was a crystal radio. DXing on both am and shortwave broadened both my radio horizons and my worldview.
Radio Ends Up on My RADAR
While working for American TV I received my first formal sales training - Wilson Leaning Associate’s One Minute Salesman course. Chris Lytle, our trainer that day, got his first sales job in radio.
His story "The Accidental Salesperson" started me thinking about selling radio ads. Still a top performer at Wisconsin’s leading electronics retailer, I began to study advertising and media. The Boy Scouts of America had taught me the value of being prepared.
Hmmm.. think maybe, someday I could get a gig selling radio ads? Dare to dream.
My First Radio Gig!
Upon moving to Milwaukee, 93QFM quickly became my favorite station. A rock station with relatable, local personalities including a mid-day guy David Lee. That's him seated on the right, with some other David Lee hovering nearby.
Having righted the ship for the Shepherd Express, I embarked on my first voyage in broadcasting. Stepping down from SM to AE, I leveragied sales and automotive passions to land Great Lakes Dragaway and Hales Corners Speedway as clients. David (seated) patiently taught the wonders of the analog recording and editing process using patch cords, razor blades and tape. Due to an embargo prohibiting GLD's preferred talent from gracing our airwaves (an epic tale of fuckery in it's own right), David and I got to voice the same type of scripts I had been riffing to as a kid. Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!
Most audio production is done digitally today, with minimal chance of blood loss. Despite greatly reduced risk, m I the only one that still gets gooseflesh when I approach the mic?
In the words of Joe Gideon, "It's Showtime, Folks!"
Drinkin' for Jesus
Mark Tuschel, Head Custodian at CW Media lured me away from 93QFM. Days were spent selling radio campaigns and media services to local businesses. At dusk, we became the Comedy Warehouse, producing parody songs and ads, syndicated to DJ's like Jonathon Brandmeier in Chicago and Jay Thomas in LA.
Mark brought me on specifically for a brilliant radio-centric project he had conceived. Aggregating over 80 local Catholic Parish Festival advertising budgets we formed a multi-media Leviathan. Milwaukee spent that whole summer Drinking for Jesus, capped off by our give away of a Brand New Car!
I opened my flip-top head for the first time
Satisfied clients pushed me to hang out my shingle for the first time. Optimum Effective Radio Scheduling, alone or combined with other media, provided solid ROI. My methods made advertising fun, easy and profitable!
- Our press release broke CellularOne’s commission schedule for agents
- Local radio stunts earned free national TV coverage
- Co-op funds were leveraged into profit centers
My loathing for snow became acute after a road trip to Key West. Trained a few clients, found new stewards for the rest, took down my shingle and drove south, figuring I would find a job once I got down there.
Awaiting an ad agency interview, I heard a familiar voice on a Key West radio station ID. As the agency people made soft noises to conclude our meeting I got directions to that station. The GM was out preventing an interview, so I filled out an application for a sales position and went home.
That familiar voice? David Lee. Listed him as a reference, and by the time I got home, the GM already had left me a voice message with a start time the following day.
During my second week at WOZN, the station owner called from Tallahassee and I picked up. We had a nice chat. I learned Brody had started in the business in Milwaukee, too. After name checking Mama Mia's Pizza in Waukesha, he said so long and I went out to sell radio ads.
Six weeks later I replaced the General Manager who hired me at based on that one call. My dream job had indeed found me, provided I was up to the challenge.
The station hemorrhaged red ink. Many on the staff had been promised raises two or three General Managers ago. The threat of mutiny seemed real, so my first official act was to take the entire staff out for dinner. Where I fired them.
Thus gaining everyone’s attention, I shared my vision and purpose; having found my dream job in radio, my objective was now to help them get theirs. Promptly signing on for their new and improved positions, we all grew as individuals and reinvented ourselves as a group. We posted amazing results:
- Revenues grew by 20%+ YoY for three years
- Rebranding Success: Classic Rock 98.7 struggled; The Ozone 98.7 thrived
- Discovery Channel filmed our promotional shenanigans
- We piloted a project for Comedy Central in NYC
- Our remote broadcasts and promotions were legendary
My last official act was to write out 17 pink slips, one with my own name on it. Sadly after the owner passed away his family wanted out of the business. Dusting off my shingle, Out Of My Mind subsequently opened in Key West, helping many former radio clients with all forms of advertising and promotion.
Adventures in the High Desert!
When my bride and I moved to the High Desert of Nevada I worked for a couple of the broadcasters there. Highlights included producing my first jingle, refining my storytelling and production skills and creating a service standard high enough that customers who once swore to 'never do that again' were soon 'doing better than that and more'.
We contributed The Very Best Snowflake Contest to the Annual Snowflake Festival. We stimulated the economy by prompting one of our clients to add Chicago Style Pizza to their menu, where it continues to be a top seller.
After five years my bride tired of the snow and we boogied back to South Florida. A couple of clients continued to have me voice and produce their spots for the following four or five years. We ultimately engineered these now-evergreen campaigns for update by local announcer.
The Request Line Is Open
Which brings us to you. What do you want radio to do for you?
Leverage our radio experience:
- Building, repairing and restoring radios (mostly Zenith Transoceanic tube sets)
- Setting up and maintaining transmitters
- Designing and selling effective radio ad campaigns
- Producing memorable radio ads
Your questions or comments are welcome. Turn this monolog into a dialog. Let's talk radio!